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      情感挽回 > 新聞動態 > 婚姻修復 >

      新聞動態

      你要如何判斷一段感情值不值得去挽回?發布時間:2019-05-17 08:26 瀏覽:
      你要如何判斷一段感情值不值得去挽回?
       
      Part.1
       
      其實很多人剛一開始在分手和撕裂上沒有愈合的時候都會這么問:你說這段感情值得我繼續挽回下去嗎?說實話這個問題我真的很不好回答。
       
      因為我要是說:值得啊。
       
      然后就有人會說:可是好痛苦。
       
      如果我說:不值得。
       
      接著還會有人問:我舍不得。
       
      那么這就是今天的主題:要如何判斷一段感情值不值得去挽回?,這份感情還值不值得讓你去修復。
       
      這個問題最合適的一個回答是:如果這段感情,在開始的時候,甚至到了最后完結的那一刻,整段看下來,其實你是在走上坡路,那么說明是值得的。
       
      也就是說這中間會發生一個很有意思的蛻變:原來你是一個只知道付出的人,這會也學會了疼愛自己;如果過去你就是一個純純的浪子渣男,這時候學會了乖,那么說明這段感情沒問題。
       
      再來說挽回這件事,其實這是一個變數很大的一件事,而且加上個體反差的差異,根本沒有人能斷言,而大多數人也只能是在一邊告訴你值得不值得,如果你在挽回的過程中真的能讓自己發生一次徹頭徹尾的轉換,那么也是相當值得的一件事。

       
      你要如何判斷一段感情值不值得去挽回?
       
       
      Part.2
       
      在這里我們不得不又提出來一個老生常談的話題:分手之后的自我提升。這個問題可以延伸一下,可以看做一段關系結束之后你為什么要提升你自己?我們可以回想一下,在你們戀愛的時候到了后期,你們是如何分手的?
       
      最多類型的無非是因為伴侶價值的缺失引起的吸引力不足。而這里的伴侶價值又分為男女不同,更分為軟硬價值的不同。漸漸的你發現你戀愛之后你缺失了那種能讓對方對你欲罷不能的東西?;蛘哒f你拿不出來更具備你個人魅力的東西鑲嵌在這段關系中間。
       
      所以我常常會看到很多顏值不錯的姑娘不停的擔心自己的前任再也回不來,我也看到很多品質不錯的男孩子擔心曾經的姑娘再也不給自己機會。這些每個人都經歷過,仔細看看不難發現:在長期穩定的關系中間,也許你自己一直把自己放在一個舒適區,覺得感情到了保險箱,那么萬事大吉,我只需要享受即可。
       
      于是我們會看到雙方在這段關系里面的互相輸出,突然有那么一天彼此都會覺察到:一年了我們的感情還是這樣,你還是你,似乎就像家常便飯一樣很平淡。
       
      某一天對方突然告訴你:我現在比你跑得快,我想跑的更快,所以我不得不放下你。當對方講這樣的話的時候你發現:對方的眼神里,似乎再也沒有了某年某月對你欽佩又欣賞的光。
       
      Part.3
       
      有一段時間我自己參加了一個成長營,在此之前,我一直認為這件事和自己一點關系都沒有,有那么一天發現自己學到的東西不在夠用,不再能解決很多新問題,最后我的視線不得不回到一個地方:能力匹配。
       
      因為目前的能力不能駕馭這樣的問題,那么這個問題我很有可能就解決不了甚至不敢去觸碰這一類問題。在失戀的過程中,也總有人問到這樣的問題:是不是我真的就是這么沒用所以才會這樣寸步不前?通過我之前自己的經歷我會說:其實你完全有機會給自己一次“再成長一次”的機會的,并且保持自己永遠行動下去。
       
      一段感情最有魅力的時候不是曖昧階段,也不是長長久久,而是說在兩個人互動的過程中,能拿得出來平時的東西,或者你本身就有讓對方忌憚的東西。而對方也有能克制住你的東西。這些東西在親密關系中共同作用形成的張力最后達到的一種狀態:互相獨立又彼此依存。你能拿得出所有的耐心看對方去解決事情,對方也愿意把新的信任給你讓你去決定一些事情。
      然而很多人在挽回的時候做了另一件事:去求對方留下,求來求去,用盡自己所有的方式和方法之后,筋疲力盡的自己腦子里冒出來一句:太不值得了。不是不值得,是你自己心態的問題。
       
      你要如何判斷一段感情值不值得去挽回?
       
      Part.4
       
      所以當你在挽回一段感情的時候你在做什么呢:
       
      ①曾經那個筋疲力盡的人此刻在嘗試讓自己充滿動力,戀愛中的你也許消耗了很多不應該消耗的能量,此刻在這個空段你在給自己“充能” ②你在做一次重新的“復盤”和“整合”,我們因為一件沖突看到自己的不足就很不容易了,而這時候恰恰是一個自我糾正的機會。畢竟沒有一段戀愛是讓你白白經歷的,無論你遇到了一個對你很好的人,還是一個把你撕的支離破碎的人。 ③挽回中的“斷舍離”斷掉那些阻礙你個人成長的觀念,舍棄那些能絆住你成長的東西,也離開那些有損你自己親密關系建設的能量。
      我們會若有若無的發現自己有些時候在重復我們曾經經歷的事情,有些時候會發現這段關系錯位的樣子很像是我們在找媽媽或者找一個爸爸;
       
      我們也會發現,原本一個很剛強的自己突然在感情里,對于情緒的把控很失??;
       
      我們更會發現,有那么一天因為這場分手,好像你堅硬的身體外殼突然被打碎,也因為是這樣的破裂讓你看到里面的東西,而那些潛藏的生命里重新接觸到了新的陽光,正在生長。
       
      這些都是一場戀愛背后的“衍生物”。因為一場戀愛而附帶出來的東西,你已經擁有了這些,為什么還會說自己一無所有呢?
       
      所以給自己一點耐心,也給對方一點耐心。
       
      相信你,可以做到。
       
      情感挽回--成都月牙情感是一家專業情感教育咨詢機構。主要專注于婚姻修復,戀愛挽回,分離第三者,挽回前男友,女友等溝通技巧和情感認知方面的問題。共同為用戶提供專業且針對性的情感服務,為廣大遭遇情感困擾的用戶提供幫助與支持。詳情請咨詢18880320749。
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